Grace and grudge revisited

There were two robust ‘objects’ in the attention centre this morning. The first was energized by household activity performed with grace rather than with grudge. The second was a comment from a friend about the large amount of autobiographical details in my posts.

I was vaguely aware of having written about such things in the past. I have been blogging for more than ten years.

The first blog dealing with ‘perception’ was called ‘Existential Soft Rock - mental re-construction through just sitting - be still and know’. It was live from 2002 till 2013 and had 507 posts. As of today it has had 32531 pageviews. This gives an average of 64 pageviews per post.

The second and current blog is called ‘Changing Minds - thoughts about the thinking and feeling processes and the dis-ease that comes with thinking outside the box’. This began in 2013 and to date has 279 posts and 9321 pageviews.  This gives an average of 33 pageviews per post.

I searched on the two blogs for [grace grudge] and found the following three posts:

In the Mood
“When I am in the mood for something I do it effortlessly and with good grace. This contrasts with doing things with a grudge because I have to. So what might it take to avoid the drudge of grudge and be more often in the mood?” [more]
07 March 2008


Thrilling Stilling
“I used to be a Scottish Presbyterian workaholic and busy-ness freak.  There was no time to lose as the devil finds work for idle hands to do.  These days I remain Scottish but I am more relaxed. I made time to stand and stare. I found ways to be still and know how my mind works and about who 'I' am. So how was this managed? In two words – just sit.” [more]
18 July 2008

What makes your heart sing?
“When your heart is singing you enjoy what you are doing and willingly go the extra mile. You are kindly disposed towards everybody and everything. You act with grace rather than with a grudge. You are happy and smile a lot. So what is the root of that hallowed state of coronary operatics?” [more]
20 September 2010

I am now several years down the road. There are still wafts of grudge concerning various topics – for example doing my accounts and filling the tax form. The grudges are often slow to go away but I can now step back and observe them and this removes the worst of their sting. But there is still a tendency to laziness and procrastination. It would make sense to deal with the topic and thus get it out of mind - but I still tend to leave such things to fester; and I ruminate about them.

I accept the autobiographical comment. But it is not driven by ego. Very few of my stories are based on hard, peer referenced data. The stories are subjective and it therefore seems necessary to establish credibility by outlining the nature of the subjectivity, ie its causes and conditions in terms of nature, nurture and serendipity.

Reality is contextual. And each thought moment brings a new context. In this particular moment there is the feeling that I might be getting better at graciously accepting the flow and not bearing grudges.