Working with torments

Your torments are rooted in your sufferings. They ‘exist’ in your world view which results from your conditioning by nature, nurture, and serendipity. They do not therefore have an abiding reality. Working with torments involves coming to realise that they are just mind made passing fancies.

They are torments when, for regular and lengthy periods, they commandeer your attention centre with disturbing thoughts, feelings and moods. There are two main types – those that regret the past and those that fear the future. There is also ego involvement – ‘I want’ (eg peace, security and abundance) and ‘I don’t want’ (eg war, instability and scarcity).

Everybody has a unique set of torments based on being a unique human being on planet earth in the 21st century. But most people avoid having to air their dirty washing in public. The mainstream tendency is to hide behind a brave face with a stiff upper lip. If you are hurting it is a sign that God loves you – no pain no gain! But keep it to yourself! … Surely this can change!

A mild level of torment is perhaps a good thing as it keeps you on your toes and prevents you from being complacent. But too much torment is a bad thing as it can lead to worldviews which are distorted by debilitating levels of depresssion, anxiety, stress and even panic attacks.

Fairly recently I was tormented. The overall feeling was of painful, dis-ease and I tried to refocus my attention centre with (1) inspired outputs from the media, cruising the internet, reading my Kindle etc, and (2) domestic chores such as washing the dishes etc

But I also drifted into a new form of practice where the goal is to write 400-600 words about a passing thought/feeling/mood every day. This involves ‘labelling’ which develops into ‘journaling’. Thousands of stories are created and destroyed in the flux of the unconscious every day. The goal is to be still and mindful so that the voice of an unconscious ‘Muse’ might be heard and written down.

When you face up to your torments and label them on a daily basis you will gradually know them to be mind made, passing fancies and to prevent them from completely taking over your attention centre. You will have trained and befriended them. “Hello my little friend ‘low self esteem’ what has woken you this morning?”

In the Sangha this weekend there were some powerful sharings. At least two, long time meditators were in tears because they were tormented by passing fancies that they mistook for reality. But they found solace in the sharings of other people who were also dealing with torments but who were more able to keep them in perspective. It is comforting to know that we all suffer.

Option = I post my stories to a blog which I share with other practitioners - and they, in theory, share with me. There are presently only about 25 pageviews per day. Speaking and listening from the heart becomes writing and reading from the heart. Surely there is a place for such heartfelt communication in cyberspace when working with torments.