A source of stories

sutra

I often notice the ongoing mental churn in my mind. It involves nature, nurture and serendipity giving rise to thoughts, feelings, words and actions. In the Pali sutras of Buddhism the process is clearly identified. It is labelled as Papancha and is normally translated as mental proliferation.

These days there is an urge to write stories about what goes on in my mind. But there is also an urge to be choosy. I aim to speak of those things that affect many people and not just me. When I deal with personal topics it is because they have general relevance. I avoid topics that are atypical and idiosyncratic.

But the choosiness is not an exact science. My ‘I’ is culturally conditioned and initially linked to a particular time and space. It is also well travelled, over 60 years in the making, and tending to the reclusive and introvert. There is therefore the choice of viewing myself as unique or as being representative of a particular category of being. For example, in the Kiersey Temperament Sorter, I am an INFP; and I feel well at ease with comments from members of the Yahoo Group dedicated exclusively to INFPs.

Thich Nhat Hahn and sangha

I am also a long time member of a Buddhist meditation group. Our weekly practice includes a session of mindful listening and speaking from the heart. We use a talking stick. Whoever holds the stick speaks and the others listen. We are a mixed group in terms of lifestyle and temperament but even so, through sharing, we learn that we are not alone having unique experiences. We also learn that in many cases, behind the brave faces, there is a pent up load of existential angst and anomie. It is better for this to be out than in!

I live alone and am retired. I have no wife or children. I spend a lot of time reading, writing and meditating. It is easy to be still and quiet. As a reality check I am also involved with various community groups in the fishing village in the NE of Scotland where I grew up and to which I have now returned. I mention these biographical details because they influence what goes on in my mind and thus the content of this story.

Lao Tzu leaving

My studies are mainly about the Dharma – the truth and teachings of the Buddha. But these days I seek to integrate the old teaching with the new sciences of evolutionary biology, evolutionary psychology, and of neuroscience. And there is another twist. I now seek not only objective and academic understanding but also subjective and heart-felt experience. The latter offers writing challenges given that, as Lao Tzu noted, “the reality which can be described is not the real reality” and that “those who know do not speak”.

For most of my working life I could concentrate and remain focussed for several hours at a time. I operated in flow and kept very busy. This was useful and productive at the worldly level but it meant that I rarely had time to stand and stare. During the slack times mental proliferation ran riot and I escaped the linked dis-ease through the distractions of wine, women and song. The notion of the illusory self ran wild and self indulgent.

In the more senior years – the last 20 or so – there has been more regular sitting. This is at times infested with mental proliferation and at other times by sloth and torpor. But increasingly the sitting slips into the mode of “no-self and outwith space and time”. This is very peaceful and seems correct and as it should be. There is an awareness of the Oneness which is everything. But, as noted above, words cannot do it justice.

There has also been an increase in everyday Zen and in 24/7 mindfulness. There is awareness of what is going on in the mind and thus a release from habits and from unthinking reactions. Shopping and cooking, washing the dishes, answering the phone, and squeezing out healthy defecations are suffused with a spiritual glow. There has been a paradigm shift in perception. The world is more numinous.

Several years ago I took a course in creative writing. I did not make as much use of it as I might have. Why invent stories when I can report on the never ending outpouring of papancha? Why indeed?

I now see that there was a problem figuring what to do with the inchoate churn that was generated as the mind ticked over and invented hazy and ephemeral patterns energised by hypothetical intentional agents. There was a never ending torrent of linguistic and emotional diarrhoea passing through the attention centre in insubstantial and short lived thought trains. The mind had a mind of its own. And its purpose seemed to be to scan the environment for potential rewards or punishments and to prepare the mind and body for appropriate action.

I have stumbled upon two ways of writing about this. They include elements of journaling and of blogging. Both are founded on the notion that Papancha flows from the unconscious and some of it reaches consciousness. There is a pre-planned method and an emergent method.

Pre-planned

The conscious bits of Papancha are noticed, labelled and mind mapped. This results in a structured skeleton upon which to hang the details of a story. The pre-planned principle is “think first and then write”. Rationality and consciousness are in charge – or at least they think they are.

Emergent

The emergent principle is to “just write”.  Intuition and the unconscious are fundamental sources of ideas but it is not quite right to say they are in charge. The idea is to “be in the mood” and to leave it to the “muse”.  Ideally perfectly edited, original text would be generated by the unconscious. But, in my experience, there are usually several rough edges that need sorting by rational consciousness.

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This story emerged. It began yesterday and is now finishing. On rereading I see that it is in essence about the unspeakable dharma and about the psychology of perception. Words, sentences, paragraphs and pages are created and made available on the internet where they might prove useful to other dharma seekers.

Mental proliferation (Papancha) will not go away in a hurry. It is a source of much suffering but it need not be. It can be harnessed for generating many dharma stories. By taking thought we can know it for what it is and thus neutralise its unwholesome effects.