Sometimes the monkey mind was swinging from one focus of attention
to another. It was busy with fleeting and seemingly random thoughts, feelings
and moods (TFM). There were hundreds if not thousands of them. But they were presumably
the tiny tip of the massive iceberg created by the ongoing unconscious churn.
Sometimes the self-conscious, rational ‘I’ was present and it
was threatening to run those negative TFMs associated with depression. This was
not a problem. The human mindbrain evolved to make sense of inputs from the
sense organs and to create suitable reactions and responses to them. It is a
fiercely complex and messy business during which a negative bias is adaptive.
Sometimes the cool ‘I’ that bears witness to what goes on in
my head captured the cerebral control panel and diverted attention to non-egoic
states of mind linked, for example, to doodling, reading, and cooking etc. This
was self-less ‘flow’ which in retrospect was close to blissful - although that label
can be applied only after the event.
Today the footering fizzle has abated and there is enough calm
to write about it
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