The idea of an abiding
self or ego is a mind-made illusion. Mature meditators see through
the illusion and experience the non-egoic bliss of being out of time
and space. But the experience is also available to newcomers to the
ancestral art of sitting still.
I am a student of
mindfulness who, over the years, has followed a range of teachings.
Common to them all is the major challenge of dispelling the illusion
of self which is infamously more easily said than done.
The technique for
changing your mind is to sit quietly doing nothing but, when 'I' try,
'I' find that 'my' mind is inclined to occupation by uninvited
thoughts, feelings and moods (TFM). So 'I' decide to watch the TFM as
they come and go. The intention is that 'I' should be just a witness
But 'I' find 'myself' standing in judgement using one of the many
moral codes that 'I' acquired from the various groups to which 'I'
belong.
So there seems to be an
'I', 'me' and 'mine', associated with an 'ego' or sense of 'self'.
But these are not clear cut. Many variations on the basic theme
emerge, presumably from the unconscious; they hang around in
attention for a while; then they disappear - presumably back into the
unconscious.
But do not take my word
for it. Try the following experiment.
EXPERIMENT:
Find a comfortable seat
in a quiet place
Sit down
Shut your eyes
Commit yourself to stay
there for 60 seconds
Intend to observe the
thoughts, feelings and moods (TFM) that arise
If no TFM arise, then
point your attention to your breathing
OPTION: - when the 60
seconds are up -
Label and write the
names of the TFM that you remember
Think of your 'self''
as (a) the carrier of the TFM and (b) as the witness
I have played with the
idea of there being at least two ways in which the structure and
functions of 'my''self' are construed. I have given the different
constructions names. (a) Zorba the zombie who experiences the
background and foreground TFM. Zorba is also known as the monkey mind
and (b) Walter the witness who engages in non judgemental observation
of what Zorba get up to. I think of Walter as the cool dude.
So who am I? Sometimes
excitable Zorba the Zombie, and sometimes cool dude Walter the
witness. Do you recognise those two characters? Repeat the experiment
and see what other illusions of 'self' turn up.
No comments:
Post a Comment