The devil’s work

Earlier today there was no inspiration for an essay but I produced a couple of doodles and I painted the shed. Now I sense a wee story emerging – about passing thoughts, feelings and moods (TFM).

It is not possible to document all the TFM. It takes longer to write about one than it does to experience it. So how many is it worth trying to hold on to? At one extreme I could let them all go while at the other extreme, on a good day for concentration, I might manage to document 1%. But why might I bother? What would be the purpose?

I am now retired with a pension. So ‘work’ does not occupy mind space like it did for about 50 years.  There is still some house and garden work, and some unpaid voluntary work to attend to but I keep those at a minimum.

I live alone without wife or kids so ‘relationships’ do not occupy as much of my mind space as I assume they do of most other people.

‘Hobbies’ take up most of my time. Mainly reading, writing and doodling with a view to blogging. The main topics at the moment are big history, evolutionary psychology, neuroscience and mindfulness meditation. Sub topics include politics, power and policy under post capitalism

The mind wanders around TFM which are brought to my attention by the unconscious. These days the wanderings very rarely draw on my exotic past (lived and worked in six countries) or on my uncertain future (old age with Parkinson’s Disease).  Most of the time ‘I’ am in the present moment, in the non-egoic here and now.  Most topics last less than a minute while some hang around for more than an hour with a few that linger for several days (eg online shopping glitches).

A judgemental TFM has appeared. Some ‘shoulds’ from early childhood about the use of time. “When the good Lord made time he made plenty of it” – but he did not give it all to me. I should be doing something more useful with my time and energy. Avoid vacuous idleness because “the devil finds work for idle hands to do”.