I am now over 70 and retired from work in education in the UK and in various developing countries in the tropics. I never married and have no children but I have chatted with parents in several different cultures ranging from the technologically very basic eg S Sudan to the very advanced eg NE Scotland.
The following list highlights some of the tasks that have to be performed in the business of living in the twenty first century. Traditionally some of the tasks were reserved for the different genders in monogamous couples.
Water and sanitation systems in the S Sudan were very limited and poorly maintained. Ladies collected water in buckets from the Nile and carried it on their heads to deliver it to a petrol drum at the back door of my house – it then had to be filtered and chemically treated before it was safe to drink. The waste water from the cooking process and from body washing was transferred to the cistern of the flush toilet to be released once a day to a cess pit which attracted clouds of flies.
A large part of “development” is related to labour saving devices most of which are driven by electricity. I remember a first year lass in Zambia being amazed that by flicking a switch on the wall she could light up or darken the whole dormitory.
The technology for washing clothes and bed sheets has evolved dramatically from hard graft with a stone by the riverside to an easy push of a button in the privacy of your own home.
• hot and cold water on tap
• flushing toilets
• heat and light at the flick of a switch
• machines for washing clothes and dishes
• gardening - lawnmowers – domesticated animals
• shopping – markets, supermarkets and online
• news and entertainment through papers, radio, TV and online
• hobbies and pastimes eg making music, sports, etc
• finances and budgeting- work
• transport - private and public
• accommodation- private and rented
• creating and raising children
• care of the infirm and elderly
The list covers topics that relate to my situation of being without wife and children. The list might thus be missing areas of concern to other people. Bachelors and spinsters have to deal with everything by themselves, but perhaps with the support of good friends. Otherwise there are two parent nuclear families, single parent families and instances of many wives or husbands and of kibbutz arrangements for childrearing en-masse by professionals.
It is increasingly common for the state to provide professional, institutional care for the infirm and the elderly. This, along with the labour saving devices, makes it possible for a wife to get a job ,a salary and thus the power to make her voice heard in deciding who should do what in the household and family.
In most of my foreign postings I have employed a cook, housekeeper, and gardener and my employer paid for 24/7 security guards. The salaries of the staff supported the local economy. Married expatriates often employed staff to do the domestic work and the wives sat about sucking their thumbs. Shades of upstairs/downstairs and of slave owner/ slave.
The traditional husband/wife setup is similar to that of slave owner/slave where the slave receives food and accommodation but no salary. Recent thinking in economics recognises the contribution of housewives to economic productivity. Some attempts have been made to include women’s homework in the Gross Domestic Product (GDP).