Existential points of view

The text of this blogpost is a reply to a postcard from and old friend who was going through a wobbly patch. There is a lot of it about.

>>>>>

Dear xxx

I got your message on the fancy stationary. I did not know if your silence was a good thing or a bad thing. It would seem to have been due to a touch of existential crisis. This is a common affliction these days.

The global situation is in such a mess that people do not know who or what to believe or where best to invest. There is doubt, uncertainty and cognitive dissonance. There are too many ends to tie together. The dis-ease (anxiety, panic, depression and stress) disturbs the sleep patterns and people get weary.

This point of view can lead to a feeling that there is no audience for your performance; so your standards slip. It is the ‘can’t be bothered’ CBB syndrome. Given this, it is interesting to note how you allocate time. What do your senses seek out and to what do they attend? What do you still bother about?

I, for example, am presently bemused by my political, social and existential perspectives.

Politicians, economists and business people now reckon that there is no alternative to neo-liberal, free-market fundamentalism. The theory is that if we give the super-rich free-rein there will be growth for all to share - even when the 1% super rich get a 99% slice of the pie. And the theory turns a blind eye to injustice, poverty, pollution, overexploitation of resources and to climate change. How come the rich and powerful elite still thrive in their top-down, corporate, Thatcher/Regan bubble?

But, there is resistance from the bottom-up. Participatory as opposed to representative democracy is on the rise and, if Naomi Klein is to be believed, it is gradually figuring how to be an influential global force. The lead up to the Scottish referendum demonstrated a range of ways for ordinary people to get motivated and engaged, often using ICT. There was a buzz in the street where people talked about issues rather than about the weather. Is CBB losing its grip?

“An existential crisis is a moment at which an individual questions the very foundations of their life: whether it has any meaning, purpose or value.” (Wikipedia). My present view is informed by the big history project (https://www.bighistoryproject.com/home ). The beginnings were about 13.7 billion years ago with the Big Bang. Then there was cosmic, biological and cultural evolution - and behold human beings with i-pads on planet earth. If we manage to figure how to live sustainably on the planet we might prosper. But, whatever happens, our sun will eventually self destruct and that will be the end of the planet and life as we know it.

Nothing lasts forever. There is creation and destruction, yin and yang. Being an ‘I’ is a fleeting phenomenon. But there are the infinite and eternal options. How parochial is your world view? How far reaching are your boundaries?(ref Wilber) When did you last treat your mindbrain to a cosmic zoom?

If there are questions about the meaning, purpose or value of life then it is not unreasonable to ask who asks them – and why. Because there is need to ask the right questions and to do so demands thoughtful use of our language instinct. (Ref Pinker)

The human mindbrain evolved as a means of making sense of sensory inputs regarding objects and events in the immediate environment… Blah blah …

>>>>> Interlude:

The joiner arrived at 8:00 to finish fitting a roof window to the study. That was the last job for this session which included building a sun room, rebuilding a utility room, and modifying the kitchen and bathroom. I used local tradesmen who have many other calls on their time – so it has taken seven months so far - and painting, decorating and carpet fitting have still to be arranged. Tarting up my cave. It was badly in need of maintenance after 30 years of CBB!

So sometimes attention was with the renovations, sometimes with this letter, and sometimes with a bout of constipation. The shit has now moved on and I am back with this letter after a bout of cleaning which prompted a burst of CBB.

A bit of the vacuum cleaner broke while I was changing the dust bag. So I binned it and bought a new one with a trendy bagless design but with a 1600 watt engine. New rules from the EU say that vacuum cleaners should be 1000 watt maximum. Fads and fashions.

>>>>> a new day.

I am minded to be grateful. The new type of charcoal briquettes burn slowly in the new multi-fuel stove and were still active in the morning. Homefire ecoal 50 – doing my bit for the environment. Sunshine through the new roof window into the office - the brightness is mood changing. Effortless heat and light towards the North Pole.

Today there are blue skies; and a low slung sun pokes fingers into the buildings in new ways. It is as if xmas has come early bearing the gift of light.

>>>>> another new day with some neat ideas from the social networks –

Thoughts are not facts – “Next time your mind jumps to a conclusion that inevitably sends you in a spiral toward depression or anxiety, check to see where your head was at the time of that interpretation.” http://www.mindful.org/mindful-voices/on-mental-health/thoughts-are-not-facts#.VHBRoFEpS9E.twitter

“The research suggests that depression may be a natural condition in which the mind concentrates involuntarily on a complex issue to the point where it allocates resources to analyzing the problem at hand, diminishing concentration on other aspects of living, perhaps giving rise to disrupted eating, sleeping and social interaction that are associated with depression.” http://medicalxpress.com/news/2014-11-bright-side-depression.html

Neurology, evolutionary psychology and cognitive science are causing a paradigm shift (ref Kuhn). We now know that the mindbrain is constantly churning so as to make sense of the internal and external world. This is a highly adaptive process and many aspects of it are now hard wired into the mindbrain. But it is an evolutionary process. The issue is not perfection or truth. It is good enough that your variation is better than your competitors. Mad myth and magic will do fine for creating a cultural world view. Pragmatism rules OK.

What this means, amongst other things, is that an object or an event can easily but wrongly be thought of as being ‘real’ while in fact ‘it’ ‘exists’ only as a perception in a mindbrain and as a word representing a concept in a sentence. The ongoing churn results in many mini inputs giving rise to a ‘story’ which forms the basis of a quick reaction (eg to avoid a hungry lion) or a slower response (eg to see constellations in the night sky). (Ref Kahneman)

>>>>> another day – quite bright and the painter is at work in the sunroom.

My present goal, aim, purpose, motivation, and intention is to get my mindbrain into the new neuropsychological framework such that an abiding peace of mind comes into being.

The methodology involves making time to:

• read widely in the associated literatures,
• associate with like-minded souls
• sit still and watch what my mind gets up to,
• let the unconscious generate stories in flow and
• make the stories available on a blog

So, in the immediate short term, it seems to be a selfish quest. But, paradoxically, the result of all the searching is to know that there is no abiding personal self. And, therefore, the concept of there being a selfish quest is problematic.

The mystics in various times and places have spoken of the ineffable and unspeakable. “He who speaks does not know, he who knows does not speak.” Language has not yet needed to evolve enough to tackle the existential problems. But there can be non-verbal experiences which, when embraced, can stimulate the development of ‘alternate states of consciousness’ many of which change the mindbrain in desirable ways.

Those who make time to stand and stare note that the mind has a mind of its own. The ‘I’ is not in control of what is going on. But this can be a good thing. What appears in consciousness is a reflection of a tiny percentage of what happens in the unconscious.

Many ‘experts’ surrender control to the unconscious because it operates at a much more sophisticated level than the egoic conscious. Athletes are in the zone, musicians are in the groove, and writers let the muse speak through them. These are examples of flow (ref Csikszentmihalyi) which is a prerequisite for what in positive psychology is called flourishing (ref Seligman). It is an effective and efficient frame of mind which rises to challenges and would be deemed wonderful except that there is no self to do the deeming! No self, no problem.

Rick Hanson is a neuropsychologist who reckons that the human mindbrain has a negative bias. There is an inbuilt tendency towards pessimism, to anxiety and panic, and to stress and depression. These are evolved and adaptive features to ensure survival in the Stone Age African savannah. But our socio cultural settings are now quite different and the old ways of doing things are no longer appropriate.

A key feature is that bad stuff sticks in mind (like Velcro) while good stuff slips away (like Teflon). It is therefore both desirable and possible that we “accentuate the positive and eliminate the negative” by way of changing the mind mood from red to green

SO – slow down, be aware of and awake to the stuff (thoughts feeling and moods TFM)) that appears in the attention centre, and choose the good green stuff over the bad red. This is more easily said than done. But it is a possibility for nearly everyone. Where there is a will there is a way.

But whence the ‘will’? It might begin as an intellectual construct possibly linked to negative feelings and moods. So act ‘as if’ being aware and awake made a difference. In time it will.

Thoughts, feelings and moods.

Everybody has thoughts, feelings and moods (TFM) popping into and out of their attention centre.

Individuals have their own pattern of TFM and these are initially shaped by their nature and by their nurture in their family and natal community. This shaping ensures that the individual is able to fit in to the subculture.

As the individual matures he may seek out the stimulation that comes from being part of a crowd – at a sports event, in a theatre, or at a political rally etc

Most homes in Scotland invite the media in by the front door and by the airwaves - newspapers and magazines, radio and television; and also via social networks on the internet. In many cases the media sets the agenda for the day’s communication topics and it links to ongoing politics and economics, entertainment and education, and consumerist fads and fashions.

Thoughts

A given individual will have a personality set partly by their genes and partly by their class in their culture. The personality will influence the individual’s types of thoughts about tasks and tools related to meeting their hierarchy of needs that range from basic through social to existential.

Feelings

There are three types of feeling – for, neutral and against. They are hard wired and linked to the fight or flight response. Feelings are for example for food and sex and against snakes and lions. In Buddhism the three feelings (or sensations) are called the vedana and they occur when our internal sense organs come into contact with external sense objects and with associated consciousness. The human mindbrain has a vast archive of memories based on earlier experiences. This means that reactions and responses to tasty rabbits and hungry lions can be faster than otherwise.

Moods

There are three categories of mood – positive, neutral and negative. Someone in a positive mood would be bright, happy, elated and optimistic. Someone in a negative mood would be dim, sad, depressed and pessimistic. A mood is a general ambience and less specific than a feeling. Moods also tend to be longer lasting than fleeting feelings.

And then there is the enlightenment option. ‘You’ can override the churning autopilot. By thinking this way rather than that way the mindbrain can be changed. That way, the old way, the dark way binds you to a parochial and monocultural world view that breeds hatred, zealotry and war. This way, the new way, the light way liberates you to a cosmopolitan and multicultural world view that breeds tolerance, cooperation and consilience.

This new way calls for attention being paid to ‘your’ thoughts, feelings and moods (TFM). Be a witness to the ongoing churn. Be aware of and awake to what is going on in the mindbrain. Know that the present pattern of TFM is impermanent. It arrives in the attention centre, hangs around for a while, and then is displaced by a new pattern of TFM.

It is never too late to change your mind. Where there is a will there is a way. It is said that what fires together wires together. There is neural plasticity. The human mindbrain is like a dog, horse or elephant, or like an athlete, musician or poet. Time spent training results in Olympian levels of performance. You have what is takes to be different. What stops you? Who are ‘you’?

Micrographia nuisance

James Parkinson may have been aware of micrographia in patients with shaking palsy (later renamed Parkinson's Disease), when he described, "the hand failing to answer with exactness to the dictates of the will". More specifically, according to Wikipedia, people with micrographia have difficulty:

• in routine activities due to lack of overall control of movement
• maintaining the scale of movements
• with reduced amplitude of movement
• with complex, sequential movements

I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease in October 2010 and my handwritten notes show the beginnings of micrographia for about two years before that. I presently have problems with fine motor control associated with handwriting, computer keyboard and mouse, piano keyboard, guitar, and various domestic tools and tasks.

I can still doodle without problems using a pen, and I can manage to write large so long as it is thought of as calligraphy and I deal with one letter at a time. The writing can be almost normal when I begin a new session but it quickly deteriorates first as ‘just smallish but still legible’ and then ‘very small and more or less flat line’. It is no longer possible to think of something new while writing the last thought. Full attention has to be given to the immediately present and even then it is not always possible to consciously control what is going on.

Typing at the computer keyboard has two problems – hitting the wrong keys (both as a near miss and as completely in the wrong place) and, holding a key too long so that it repeats. These typos can be fixed but it is a slow process and there is sometimes a freezing of the mind and fingers. I sometimes think of this as arrogance and laziness but most often there is acceptance of the way things are; and there is gratefulness for word processors. Linked to this I find it easier to use the mouse than the fingerpad. But there can be a freezing of the mind and fingers on the mouse. This does not last long but it can be frustrating.

I never was a skilled piano player but I could vamp in live sessions and I used a General Midi keyboard to input to music programmes on the computer. Accuracy and timing are now giving problems but I am still able to use the one-finger accompaniment system on the Yahama YPT-230. This is good enough for the present project that involves making demos of Paulina and my tunes.

Finger picking is no longer possible on the guitar and strumming is not perhaps as timeous as it might be. I can still hold down first position chords in C, G, and A but the left hand freezes before very long. I rarely take a guitar out of its box these days.

There are many tools and tasks that give problems. For example screwdriver, can opener, closing the zip on my fleece, cleaning pans using steel wool. There is not much option other than to muster the patience and accept the awkward slowness.

Fortunately, as yet, there is gracious acceptance and I am not spooked by "the hand failing to answer with exactness to the dictates of the will". But it is a nuisance.

Methodological madness

This is my day for the weekly tag-a-long trip to Inverurie. It results in my sense organs being in a different place for about three hours.

The senses are unfailingly stunned by the effusion of consumer commodities and by the ways that humanity is active in every square inch of the rural and urban landscapes. And the different supermarkets have shelves groaning with price checked, multi variant versions of the same thing eg bread, booze and shampoos - complete with ‘best before’ labels.

After quick wanders around Poundland and Tesco I get a strong black coffee and sit with my notebook to record such passing thoughts and feelings as appear in the attention centre.

Today there were some thoughts about leadership, management and administration in the new politics of popular participation which defined for me the real outcome of the Scottish referendum. This links to the more hopeful and positive side of Naomi Klein’s new book that I am reading on my Kindle (This Changes Everything: Capitalism vs. the Climate).The notion is that the power held by the present, elitist forces is increasingly being commandeered by various coalitions of the erstwhile ignored and dispossessed.

Ultimately the key concept is ‘changing minds’ so that, through the existential effort of a growing number of individuals and groups, the global Weltenschauung might become more greenly, social democratic.

SO – this week’s rearrangement of sensations did not reach as far as a paradigm shift; but the emerging thoughts helped pinpoint the links to the disasters that are neo-liberalism and free market fundamentalism. There is now more clarity about the nature of the problem and the possible solutions.

Churn – a compilation

The mindbrain in its conscious, self conscious and unconscious forms is in a constant state of churn. The churning involves mixing and matching fresh inputs from the senses with materials stored in memory. Some of the memories will have been hard wired others will have been learned; but there is neural plasticity so changing minds is always possible.

Over the last two years I have blogposted 20 articles containing the word ‘churning’. They are listed below in chronological order. They came spontaneously from the unconscious and lead towards a fuller understanding of the churn concept. I acknowledge Rick Hanson (2013) Hardwiring Happiness for pulling so much together.

28 Feb 2013 changing minds: dropped out              We are the vital churn of stardust whose beginnings and endings are unknown and perhaps ultimately unknowable. We can, however, be conscious of our consciousness but that won't save us when the sun goes out. 

04 Mar 2013 changing minds: responsible for our intentions                There is ongoing churn amongst the brain modules and this creates many items of thought and feeling as possible outputs. These are prioritised and form patterns which tell a story - and the intention to think, speak or act ... 

15 Mar 2013 changing minds: Ask the horse            But you will also sense that the upfront stuff is but the tip of the enormous iceberg that is your unconscious: and the unconscious is in a state of vital churn and constant flux while it (a) processes information coming in from the ... 

31 May 2013                           changing minds: Quagmire Brains   The mass of atoms on planet earth stays the same but there is ongoing churn as they join together and fall apart. If we view time as linear then we have the problem of figuring what came before the big bang. A beginningless ... 

16 Aug 2013                           changing minds: When is a blog useful?         Because of the paradigm shift there is awareness of the ongoing mental churn. Concentration involves focus but this can flicker on and off as attention shifts to accommodate the ongoing monitoring process. Absent minded ... 

15 Dec 2013 changing minds: We're a' John Knox's bairns   This mental churn has been going on since childhood and one of my early songs capture the politics of what is going on: “There's a voice inside you it's the voice of other men. It's the voice of people dead and gone 

11 Jan 2014   changing minds: Imperfect nature     It is driven and shaped by the energetic churn operating on the various levels of the spatial zoom from quantum to cosmos. I find it both amusing and awesome that cosmic stardust became conscious and is now conscious of ... 

17 Jan 2014   changing minds: Perpetual churn       Perpetual churn. The first law of thermodynamics states that energy cannot be created or destroyed: but it can be converted from one type to another. There are nine types - heat, light, sound, chemical, electrical, magnetic, ... 

21 Jan 2014   changing minds: Churn and flux        Churn and flux. Heraclitus was an ancient Greek philosopher. He reckoned that all things exist in a state of constant change and he is best known for noting that you cannot step in the same river twice. This idea is captured in ... 

14 Feb 2014 changing minds: Gender urge              When I am anxious and stressed it is because of the churn in the unconscious throwing juicy stuff into the attention centre where the conscious aspect of the mindbrain gives careful thought to the issue. A pause for reflection. 

03 Apr 2014 changing minds: For whatever reason               Because of the ongoing unconscious churn no story with its thoughts and feelings stays the same for long. There is ongoing neural plasticity which ensures that change continues and that the individual, or perhaps the group, ... 

03 Apr 2014 changing minds: Ffafing aboot with churning whims    The unconscious is perpetually busy churning thoughts and feelings. This process involves linking present time sensory inputs to past time memories and then reacting or responding by taking appropriate actions. BUT, for the ... 

17 Apr 2014 changing minds: the mindbrain douche            The Mindbrain is split. There is less focus than there might be. 'I' become an unintentional robot managed by a stream of unconscious churn that incorporates the decoded signals from the wire-less airwaves. To be focused is ... 

18 Apr 2014 changing minds: The multitasking mindbrain 'I' am subjectively aware that the unconscious is continuously churning facts and feelings and making them into little stories some of which are fleeting inhabitants of the conscious attention centre. I sometimes wonder about ...

 

30 Apr 2014 changing minds: Relaxed Social Interaction    When I am by myself it is relatively easy to be mindful of my mental churn or at least those parts that appear in consciousness. When in a group of nine other people there is the churn of nine other mindbrains to consider. 

05 May 2014                           changing minds: Doing a helicopter                 There is then focussed flow which is 'in the groove' or 'in the zone' and the unconscious can churn out its 'stuff'. This is equivalent to letting the 'muse' speak. She is the mind that has a mind of her own; and she is the result of ...

08 May 2014                           changing minds: Mindfulness – short notes 01             This calls for a new answer to the old question “Who am I?” Surprisingly the answer is that 'I' am the output from an ongoing and everchanging churn of mental activity. 'I' have no abiding reality – thoughts of 'I', 'me', 'mine', ...

16 Jun 2014   changing minds: Facts will ding           Facts exist in particular mindbrains and as such are subject to ongoing cognitive churn. They are thus readily overturned, disputed and subject to reinterpretation. There is nothing substantive about them. The biologist Stephen ... 

04 Jul 2014    changing minds: A shifting vocation But there is churn in the mindbrains of policy makers, freelance philosophers, media makers and ordinary people. World views and the language in which they are expressed change. Many new words are created but only a ... 

09 Sep 2014 changing minds: Morality memes      ... stone-age foragers in the African savannah. But then the neo-cortex evolved and language came with it. Metaphorical single track roads and superhighways flourished and gave rise to a dynamic churn of myths and magic.

The non egoic cowherd

Unfocused internet cruising takes the mindbrain to all manner of unnecessary places - local, national, and global. There are audio and video inputs as well as text. I often feel that I interact as a lazy, inactive observer and thus as an existential cop out.

BUT, yesterday I made a pile of about 30 books that I have recently read relating to mindfulness and to depression/ happiness. I also felt that another pile of about 20 older books dealing with ‘mind’ are now out of date.

An example of being out of date is the book by John Eccles (1989) “Evolution of the brain – creation of the self”. Eccles was an eminent neurologist who dabbled with evolution and anthropology. As well as being out of date, his writing is not as user friendly as in recent books such as Rick Hanson (2013) “Hardwiring happiness – the practical science of reshaping your brain and your life”. In comparing the two books the amazing level of progress in the last quarter century becomes apparent.

SO – I have dallied with about 60 books dealing with the mindbrain, and with many more on other topics. So I am not lazy. What about being inactive?

In earlier times I was questing to find what experts thought on a range of topics with a view to constructing lesson plans and lecture notes. This can be thought of as herding another man’s cows.

In recent times the goal is to feed the unconscious and let the creative rearrangements take care of themselves. This can be thought of not so much as herding my own cows as relaxing in the sun and letting the cows look after themselves.

That might suggest laziness but only from an egoic perspective. When there is ‘flow’ there is no ego and therefore no agent upon whom to pin the lazy label.

It now appears that the mindbrain is made up of many different modules each of which is an agent in its own right. The modules are in constant churn by way of ensuring that appropriate reactions and responses are made to external sense objects.

AND, 99.999% of mindbrain activity takes place in the unconscious. A frugal few of these activities are copied to the conscious and self conscious – usually after the event. Subjectively what seems like a self conscious giant is objectively a stunted shadow of a frugal few mindbrain entities chosen from the vast set that makes up the unconscious. Prominent amongst those is the illusory notion of an abiding ‘self’.

Such is my present world view. While sitting quietly doing nothing mindbrain stuff is generated. So there is no shrinking from the existential conundrum. Lao Tzu had a word for the process of non-egoic action – wu-wei.